HEY READ THIS!
by DreamMarvel
Summary: An epic love story full of lust, horrible grammar, and an unforgettable cast! A mysterious boy seeks help with his "mutant" powers and the X-Men get annoyed! Believe me folks, it's better than it sounds.


"Hey! Read This!"  
  
An epic love story full of lust, horrible grammar, and an unforgettable cast!  
  
By: MizzMarvel and dReAmWaTcHeR18  
  
Authors' Note- Hello there and welcome to our fic! Yes, we our two authors. We just combined our names to bring you this! (If you would like to read more of our stuff, out names our MizzMarvel and dReAmWaTcHeR18) First off we would like to say that yes, our fic is FULL of grammatical errors and insane situations, but after reading so many X-Men: Evolution fics, you start to notice that some people spell Pietro's and Rogue's names wrong. This fic is dedicated to them! To all those grammatically challenged people out there! So as a side note, Peitro = PAY-tro, or, pay-AY-tro. Rouge = Roo-sh (like the make-up or color). Oh, and we don't own any of the characters…Now that you've heard enough from us, on to the story!  
  
  
  
The silver haired boy stepped out of the taxicab and slammed the door behind him. He watched as the cab driver pulled his duffel bag out of the trunk and set it by his feet. The boy fished two twenty-dollar bills out of the back pocket of his blue jeans and put them in the cab driver's out- stretched hand. The cab driver tipped his hat, got back into his car and sped off down the long curved driveway. The boy put his hands on his hips and craned his neck to look at the vast mansion in front of him. After a brief moment, he took a deep breath, picked up his duffel bag and started up the steps.  
  
On the porch, he was met with his reflection in a set of double glass doors. A slow smile spread across his lips as he ran a pale hand through his silvery hair. He proceeded to wink and make kissy faces at himself, not taking any noticing of the other reflection that appeared a few minutes later.  
  
"Ahem…"  
  
The boy whipped around, startled, and peered into the face of a very confused man. He was scruffy looking and was in serious need of a hairbrush and a razor. His brow furrowed as he looked at the boy.  
  
"You got a problem kid?" The scruffy man asked.  
  
"I don't think so…" The boy replied as he took a note out of his pocket and handed it to the man, "I was told to come here, to talk to a Professor Xavier."  
  
The scruffy looking man took the note and glanced at it, then back to the boy.  
  
"Hmm…alright. Come on in." The scruffy man opened the door and gestured for the pale boy to go in. As he passed through the double glass doors, his eyes immediately started to scan the massive room. He noted just how well furnished the front room was, red carpet, statues, plants, even a chandelier! The boy stopped near the foot of the stairs, with the scruffy man close behind.  
  
"Ah, Logan, I see we have a visitor?"  
  
The pale boy's attention was brought to focus on an elderly bald man in a wheel chair. As the bald man was slowly rolling toward them the scruffy man named Logan brushed past the boy to stand behind the bald guy.  
  
"Welcome young man, my name is Professor Xavier." The bald man offered his hand in a warm greeting. The pale boy hesitated, then took his hand. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before the pale boy jerked his hand away. Professor Xavier kept his eyes locked on the boy. His face-hardened into an expression of concentration. The pale boy shifted uncomfortably under the Professor's gaze. Suddenly it felt as though a thin piece of silk had touched the boy's mind. He scratched his head.  
  
"Well, why don't we step into my office. I see we have much to talk about." Professor Xavier offered as he began to roll away.  
  
"Owww!! Charles! My foot!" Logan yelled.  
  
"Sorry." Was the quick reply. The boy looked at Logan then quickly followed the professor.  
  
The silver haired boy quietly clicked the door shut behind him. He turned and saw that Professor Xavier was already comfortably positioned in front of a cream colored couch.  
  
"Please. Have a seat." Professor Xavier rested his elbows on the arms of his wheelchair and steepled his fingers in front of his chin. The boy put his bag down by his feet as he sat down.  
  
"So Mr. Maximoff, would you like to tell me why you're here?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you when you talk into your hands like that." The boy replied.  
  
"Oh, sorry about that," Professor Xavier said as he quickly took his hands away and folded them into his lap. "Now, why don't you tell me why you're here Mr. Peitro Maximoff?"  
  
Peitro sat back startled.  
  
"I'm sorry about that young man…sometimes the glare from my head blinds people-"  
  
"No, it's not that. Although that is quite annoying," Peitro said as he shielded his eyes. "It's just that I don't remember telling you my name."  
  
The professor narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment.  
  
"I believe you brought a letter for me?"  
  
Peitro's eyes widened.  
  
"Would you stop that!" Peitro cried. He quickly pulled out a checkbook and a pen. He opened the book and started to scribble inside. A moment later he ripped out a check and handed it to Professor Xavier. "Look, here's $300. Don't do that anymore."  
  
Professor Xavier looked at the little piece of paper, then back to Peitro. "Although I have a Swiss Bank account the size of Alaska, I will accept your generous offer." He folded it up and quickly stuffed it into his pants. Peitro caught sight of something purple and lacey. "So…the letter?"  
  
"Oh right!" Peitro said as he reached into his back pocket and retrieved the letter. He handed it to the professor.  
  
"Hmmm…" Professor Xavier said as he looked over the letter. Peitro watched closely as the professor's expression changed from thoughtful to very amused. Professor Xavier then began horribly loud fits of laughter.  
  
20 minutes later….  
  
"Listen gramps! What is so funny?!" Peitro yelled. He was on his feet now, his hands clenched tightly into fists. The professor stopped to catch his breath.  
  
"Did you write this note yourself?"  
  
"Well…yes."  
  
"And you ACCUALLY think that your 'mutant power' is handing out money!?"  
  
"Ooooo! Sounds like a challenge! I'm assuming that you have a better mutant power?"  
  
"Why yes I do. I have telepathic powers. In fact, I have the strongest mind in the world."  
  
Peitro smiled smugly. "Just as I thought. Useless. I have Superterrestrial Banking Abilities! You're just mad because MY Swiss bank account makes yours look like a relatively small bean!"  
  
Professor Xavier busted up laughing again. "Look, this is a school for the GIFTED! Not insane!"  
  
"But I am gifted! Who else do you know who's been blessed with Superterrestrial Banking Abilities!?"  
  
"Trust me, if you were gifted, I would have come to you. Now go, just please go, before you give me a heart attack! I already take enough medication as it is."  
  
Sadly, Peitro picked up his back and walked out. Head down, feet dragging, Peitro pushed open the double glass doors. The laughter followed him down the stairs, and down the long curved driveway.  
  
Peitro sat down heavily on the bus stop bench. He turned to an old woman next to him, a single crystal tear sliding down his pale cheek. She patted him on the back with a frail, gloved hand. Peitro smiled and handed her a 50-dollar bill. The old woman snatched it greedily from Peitro's hand and hobbled off with her walker. Only to be mugged about half way down the block. Peitro sighed and ran his hands through his silver hair.  
  
"What am I going to do now? I have no home…I was counting on getting in at the Xavier school…" He clenched his teeth, his fists shaking with anger. Peitro was snapped out of his thoughts moments later, by a woman running down the street screaming. He looked down the street in the direction she was running from. Three very odd looking people were walking down the street wreaking havoc on anyone they passed. A rather LARGE boy with a blonde Mohawk punched a kid in the stomach causing him to spit out the chocolate milk he was gargling in front of the 7-11. Another very grotesque looking boy shot out a 30-foot tongue and caught some mans briefcase. Peitro watched in horror. He didn't even want to know what the last sickly looking boy was going to do. He immediately got up, grabbed his stuff and ran over to them.  
  
"You poor misshapen creatures you!" He cried. He pulled out his checkbook and started to scribble inside. He ripped out the check and handed it to the fat blonde.  
  
"PLEASE for the love of God! Go get some plastic surgery and take a shower!"  
  
The dirty one with dark brown hair grabbed the check from the fat blonde and looked at it closely. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion.  
  
"Why are you just handing us money like this? Is there something wrong with you?"  
  
"Well…sadly yes." Peitro sighed. "I'm a mutant. I have been cursed with Superterrestrial Banking Abilities."  
  
The fat blonde scratched his head.  
  
"Huddle!" The dirty brown haired boy cried. The three closed into a circle and a series of whispering began. After a brief huddle the boys turned around. The dirty brown haired boy stuck out his hand.  
  
"Welcome to the Brotherhood."  
  
  
  
* Meanwhile at Bayville High… *  
  
"So what'd you get on your trig test?" Scott asked as he took a bite of his sandwich.  
  
"Oh, just a 96%. I could have done better, but I had a date with Duncan the night before." Jean replied as she flipped her perfect red hair and smirked slightly as Evan haphazardly stuffed his own test into his backpack; the blaring red 'F' was easy to spot.  
  
The whole gang sat inside the cafeteria at their usual table. They were a loyal bunch of friends, despite the fact that Jean couldn't stand any of them, Scott perpetually had a stick up his ass, Kitty was a ditz, Evan was a loser slacker, and Kurt obsessively tried to use humor as a means of keeping emotionally distant. Who could ask for a better clique?  
  
"How about you, Kurt? Scott turned to the fuzzy dude.  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"Ah got a 78%!"  
  
A collective groan swept the group. "It's Rouge again," Kitty whispered loudly, poking Evan in the side.  
  
"I can see that! Are you saying I'm stupid?"  
  
"I didn't say-"  
  
" 'Cause just 'cause I'm a skater doesn't mean I'm stupid!"  
  
"I can't STAND Rouge," Jean said in a loud stage whisper. "Get rid of her Scott!"  
  
Rouge took out her compact and began to heavily apply concealer, despite the fact it was already caked on to the point of flaking. "So, what're we doin' today? A Logan session?"  
  
"Uhhh…I don't know what you're talking about," Scott embroidered cleverly.  
  
"Haha, seriously-Logan session?" She asked as she carefully applied wine- colored lipstick around her mouth!  
  
"-Evan, I did not say you were stupid-"  
  
"-You IMPLIED it!"  
  
Jean slammed her fist down on the table, knocking over a carton of milk into Kurt's lap. "LOOK Rouge, you are NOT and X-Man. I have no idea WHERE you got the idea you were even a mutant!"  
  
"Ah AM a mutant!"  
  
"-If anything, skateboarding shows GREAT intelligence-"  
  
"I agree Evan-"  
  
Jean laughed humorlessly. "Oh? And what are your powers?"  
  
Rouge, having just applied an insane amount of her namesake to her cheeks, quietly replied, "Ah have superterrestrial cosmetic abilities."  
  
"'Superterrestrial cosmetic abilities'?" Jean spit out. "That make absolutely NO sense!"  
  
"And superterrestrial isn't even a word," Scott added.  
  
"Shut up Scott."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"-Look at Tony Hawk. He makes BILLIONS of dollars. Heck, I bet he's even a millionaire. Could a 'stupid' skater do that??"  
  
"Evan, just let me talk-"  
  
Rouge began to weep silently, the tears making raccoon circles under her eyes, which were outrageously covered with brown mascara.  
  
"Jean, when will ya fahnally see that, yes, it's ok to be a mutant? Ah'm one, yer one." She waved a hand, indicating the whole table. "We ALL are. We shouldn't hahd it enah moor." Rouge stood up, placed a hand on Jean's shoulder and looked around the cafeteria. "Ever'one, ah have an 'nouncement to make. We are MUTANTS."  
  
Silence. Everyone in the cafeteria turned and started at the group, stunned. Somewhere, someone dropped a fork.  
  
The X-Men themselves were also in shock. Kitty's mouth hung open. Scott blushed. Jean looked like she wanted to take a bite out of Rouge's hand. Kurt paused, wiping the milk off his pants. Only Evan, who stared stupidly, appeared as normal.  
  
Finally, Kurt stood up, milk cascading down his plum-colored Dickies to form an embarrassingly suspicious wet stream. "Ja! I am a mutant! My feet are vebbed! So vhat?"  
  
"Ohhhh…" The student body responded as a whole. Then the gossipy whispers started.  
  
Kurt sighed and sat back down with a squish. "See vhat I do for zis team?"  
  
Jean turned to Rouge, her face a magnificent burgundy that unfortunately clashed with her hair. "Leave!"  
  
"Huh?" Rouge froze, the mascara still gooey on her cheeks.  
  
"Leave NOW. You are NOT an X-Man. You are NOT a mutant. And even if you WERE one, you wouldn't be good at it. I mean, LOOK at your makeup for God's sake. Do you even own a mirror?!"  
  
Rouge gasped. "Ah see so clearly now…"  
  
"Good! Finally…" Jean folded her arms across her chest, triumphant.  
  
"Our enemies are cloudin' yer minds!!"  
  
"Oh God…" Scott muttered. He covered his face with his hand and shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"That's why ya'll are avoidin me. And why you're doubtin' mah 'bilities. The enemy is puttin' these thoughts inta ya danged fool heads."  
  
"What the hell are you-" Jean screamed.  
  
"But which enemy?" Rouge tapped her chin. "The Riddler? Lex Luthor? Or maybe Gorilla Grodd…"  
  
Evan turned to Kitty and whispered, "Who?"  
  
Kitty rolled her eyes. "Like, don't you remember? We fought them, like, last spring."  
  
"We did?"  
  
"Yeah. The Riddler, like, causes earth tremors."  
  
"That vas the Brotherhood!" Kurt cried.  
  
"Oh yeah. I forgot…"  
  
Rouge shook her head and hugged Jean fiercely. "Don't worry, mah comrade. Ah'll fahnd out who's behahnd this. Ah'll save ya." She then ran off in a thoroughly heroic, leaping fashion. She instantly collided with a lunch table, fell to the ground, did a tuck-and-roll, and got back to her feet, still running.  
  
The X-Men started after her.  
  
"Well, at least she left," Scott remarked.  
  
"Yeah," Jean grumbled. "But look-" She shook her blouse and dust flew everywhere.  
  
"She got her damn powder all over me!"  
  
* At the Brotherhood House *  
  
Peitro sat on the parlor's sofa, his back facing the open door. There, Mystique and the rest of the Brotherhood stood, studying the possible new member.  
  
"I'M in charge here," Mystique hissed. "I do the recruiting! And now we know why." She carelessly waved her hand in the oblivious boy's direction. "Look at him! Unnatural hair, painfully skinny, girlish face. Were lucky N'Sync didn't wander by the house instead or we'd have FIVE new recruits." She glared accusingly at Lance, who blushed and stared down at his feet.  
  
"But Mystique, it ain't like that," Fred protested.  
  
"Naw," Todd interjected. "We really think he'd be good in the 'hood."  
  
"Why?" She asked angrily.  
  
"He gives us money, yo!"  
  
She paused for a moment. Finally, she replied cautiously, "Money?"  
  
"Yeah, like, for free!" Todd reached into his jeans' front pocket and pulled out a grubby twenty-dollar bill. "See?"  
  
"He says giving out money is his mutant power," Lance added.  
  
"Really now?" Mystique smiled insidiously. "Perhaps we COULD use him after all…but I have to check with our, uh, benefactor first." She turned, walked down the hall, and flung open the basement door. Giving the boys one more disapproving glare, she made her way down the stairs.  
  
"Whoa, it creeps me out when she does that," Fred whispered.  
  
"And rightly so," Todd agreed.  
  
Mystique silently stepped down the darkened stairs, only a single, half- burnt out string of Christmas lights wound around the banister lit the way. At the bottom, she encountered another door, constructed of steel. She pulled out a ring full of keys, unlocked it, and continued. Immediately before her was another door, one of iron. She repeated the process. Again, there was another door of aluminum. Finally, Mystique found the final door. It was a screen door, and not in very good condition. The screen was torn in several places, the wood was cheap, and the whole thing sagged on its hinges. "I really need to replace that," She muttered.  
  
Mystique strode through the door to the center of the dank, moldy room. She reached up and pulled a cord, switching on a dim light bulb. She got down on her knees and addressed the benefactor. The benefactor was a rabbit. More specifically, a rabbit cookie. He was covered in terrifying pink sprinkles, with a few multi-colored ones thrown in for a taciturn, cautionary emphasis. He sat high and overruling on his podium, surrounded by offerings of heads, alfalfa chow, and frosting. The rabbit's gaze was stern and horrible, causing Mystique to hide her face in fear.  
  
He was absolutely delicious.  
  
"O, Great Rabbit, our most benevolent benefactor," Mystique began. "A boy has arrived. He wants to join the Brotherhood."  
  
The rabbit stared.  
  
"I know it was not in your plan to have FOUR members of the Brotherhood, Lord Rabbit. But, if you will excuse my impertinence, I think he will be of great use."  
  
The rabbit stared.  
  
"He has money, Great Rabbit! Lots of it! And he gives it away…for free!"  
  
The rabbit stared.  
  
"Yes, O Rabbit, that is a most wonderful plan! The boy will join the Brotherhood. Thank you, thank y-oh wgx!" She gagged and choked. "I think I swallowed a fly! Oh God! Perhaps I'll die! Damn you, screen door! You don't even serve your purpose!!" She shook her fist at it, then turned back to the rabbit. "Uhh, sorry, Lord Rabbit. Thank you, a thousand times, thank you."  
  
She got up, switched off the light, and walked through the faulty door, which finally completely fell off its hinges when she slammed it into place. She went through the aluminum door, then the iron door, and then the steel door. Smiling, she walked back up the basement stairs and burst out. The Brotherhood was still huddled by the parlor. Ignoring them, she walked into the room and stood in front of the new recruit.  
  
"Welcome to the Brotherhood, Peitro." Mystique proclaimed. "Now we need to practice your powers." She held out her hand.  
  
  
  
Authors' Note- Well, that was the end of chapter one! I hope you stick around for more! It will be coming soon! 


End file.
